Achievements

Overview

This page will go over the achievements for MISERY, as according to Steam. There are 38 achievements, and as of the time of writing this, only 7 have more than 10% of players achieving. They can be split into three arbitrary categories, easy, medium, and hard.

Easy

These are achievements that most players will be able to do easily, and being ones with at least 10% of players having.

Name	% of players	Description	What it entails	Recommended way
Home Sweet Home	24.2%	Place your first furniture	This achievement is rewarded for placing anything considered Furniture.	This achievement can simply be achieved by picking up and replacing the gasoline generator that spawns inside the bunker.
Industrialization	17.4%	Smelt an iron bar	This achievement is gotten for, as the descriptions suggests, smelting an iron bar.	Iron bars are smelted inside the incinerator, by placing in scraps and powering it. This can be done by simply finding scraps and gasoline for the gasoline generator, or they can be bought from the junk dealer in Sirzez.
Bunker Rats	16.5%	Sell something in Sirzez	This achievement is also self explanatory, simply sell something to a trader in Sirzez.	Many items can be sold to traders, and this achievement is awarded for selling any of them. Crafting resources are particularly easy to sell, but many other items work as well.
Friendly Fire	15.8%	Kill a friend	This achievement is one of the harder of the easy rated ones. You receive it for killing another player.	If you do not have a friend that also plays MISERY, you can simply join a random public server, and ask to kill one of the players<ref>Or you can not ask, and just kill them.</ref>.
Anomaly Tourism	11.9%	Jump into the teleporting anomaly	This is another achievement that is summarised well in the description, simply jump into a teleporter.	There is no easy way to cheese this one, as you can not force one to spawn, but they are found in many structures, and look similar to the black holes, but are colored grey, and appear to have some sort of mucus on them. Simply walk or jump into it.
Melancholy	10.5%	Smoke in the rain	To get this achievement you simply need to consume a cigarette while it is raining, snow may count.<ref>To be confirmed</ref>	You can either find cigarettes during an expedition, or purchase them from a trader.<ref>Trader and price to be found</ref> Then simply when it starts raining, from your inventory, right click and select consume on the cigarettes.
Na Zdorovie!	10.0%	Give Vodka to a dwarf	Simply giving a bottle of Vodka to a dwarf.	Vodka can be found in expedition or purchased from the Barman<ref>Price to be found</ref>. After some exploration in the expedition, the player can find one of two<ref>There may be more than 2</ref> structures that contain dwarfs, and simply give them vodka.

Medium

Between 2.5%-10% of players have these achievements.

Name	% of players	Description	What it entails	Recommended Way
Protein is protein	7.9%	Eat a cockroach	Eat a cockroach. it doesn't matter if it's cooked or raw.	Cockroaches can be found in expeditions fairly easily, or they can be purchased from the barman for 5 rubles
Yack!	6.4%	Eat the poo	Eating a player's poop	Players poop about every 10 minutes, or when they die. Simply pick it up, hold it, and right click it.
Don't Tell mom, that I am in Zaslavie	5.9%	N/A	Play all of the songs available on a Guitar.	Continuously click while holding the guitar to shuffle through the songs quickly.
Tools of Proletariat	5.9%	Craft Advanced Workbench	Crafting an Advanced Crafting bench at the standard Crafting Bench.	An advanced crafting bench can be crafted for: 20 iron bars, 20 scrap, 20 wood, and 20 electronics. These can be found either in expedition, or purchased, with the exception of the iron bars, which need smelted.
Whacko	4.9%	Have Panic Attack / reach 100% insanity	Reach 100 insanity, or have your character suffer from a panic attack which is caused by high insanity.	Stand in close proximity to a Crayfish.
Minor Victory	4.7%	Kill a Dwarf	Kill a Dwarf by any means, as long as you're the one to kill it.	Run around and look for Dwarves, they can be found in 2 different locations, and attack them. They do not fight back.
Clean like a tear!	4.5%	Purify a bottle of water	Purify a bottle of water at a Chemical Table.	Save the radioactive bottles of water you get, and try to build a chemical table as soon as possible.
Starvation	4.4%	Reach 100% Hunger and 100% Thirst	As the description says. Note that this does not mean reaching full food and drink bars, but rather empty.	Don't eat or drink until quite low, then as soon as you start taking damage, eat some poop to get the rest of the way to 0% food and thirst.
Law and Order	4.2%	Kill 10 Bandits	Kill 10 Bandits by any means, as long as you're the one to kill them.	Either use a gun to kill them, or simply engage one, and walk backwards while hitting it with a weapon. Depending on what the bandit is holding, it may be able to hit you once or twice, so be careful.
Shiny thingy	4.1%	Find your first Artifact	Use the BUSEL detector to find an artifcact.	Artifacts can be found in various anomalies, so whenever you come up to one, hold out the BUSEL detector, and see if the meter is increased at all, and start moving towards where it is highest. Make sure not to die while looking.
Electrification	3.2%	Turn on the light in the bunker	Craft a light and power it.	Fuel the generator, craft a lamp, and immediately wire it to the light with a cable.
DIY Expert	3.0%	Craft 50 items	Craft 50 items at any crafting station.	This one is by crafting 50 of anything. A chemical table and seeds is a decent way, as it does not require any ingredients that can not be collected inside the bunker after obtaining.
PSYCHO	2.7%	Kill someone with 90%+ insanity	This requires killing anything at 90%+ insanity, not just players as the description misleads.	While going for the "Whacko" achievement, after reaching 100% insanity, kill the crayfish, and optionally eat the caviar to get back down to normal levels.
You can not fix it sober	2.6%	Fix a broken weapon at Technic	Repair a broken gun at the Technician.	Simply find a broken gun in a POI, and either find parts and a repair kit to repair it, or save up money and you can purchase the parts. You also need money to repair it, for the best gun up to 800 rubles on top of the ingredients.
I am Soup	2.5%	Wear a cooking pot as a helmet	Equip a Cooking Pot from the inventory into the Head slot.	Find a cooking pot, and put it on the head slot. Cooking pots can easily be found in apartment buildings inside the kitchens.

Hard

Less than 2.5% of players have these achievements.

Name	% of players	Description	What it entails	Recommended Way
Labor Camp	2.3%	Make Dwarf Work	Finding a dwarf, gifting it vodka, picking it up, crafting a dwarf generator, and gifting another bottle of vodka.	Do not kill the dwarf from the "Na Zdorovie!" achievement, and instead bring it back to your bunker, and with 20 wood, 3 iron bars, and 2 insulating tape, craft a dwarf generator. Place it down, and give the dwarf another bottle of vodka.
Stroybat	1.5%	Demolish 10 concrete blocks in the bunker.	Exactly what the title suggests, destroying it in any way.	Sledgehammers, some guns, and grenades all deal damage to walls, so any combination of those can be used. They can also all be found in expedition. The sledgehammer and bullets for the guns can also be crafted
From Ashes to Ashes	1.3%	Cremate 100 items	Burning 100 items in the incinerator.	Selling items and putting 100 rubles in is a pretty simple way, but any items work for this, except iron possibly. Make sure that when burning items to utilize all 4 slots to save electricity.
Not Great, Not Terrible	0.7%	Reach critical radiation 90%+ and cure yourself up to 10% or lower.	As the description states, reaching near full radiation, then nearly no radiation.	Purchase or find a 2x1 anti-rad pill bottle, go somewhere slightly radioactive, take off all radiation protecting gear, wait until fully radioactive and consume the anti-rad.
Juggernaut	0.8%	Craft the Exoskeleton	Crafting the Exoskeleton at the advanced crafting bench, everyone in the server will get the achievement.	No real easy way, you just have to save up the materials to build one. They key component can only be found in the nuclear bunker map, so make sure to try and find it every time.
Back from the Afterlife	0.5%	Use medkit at 1% hp or lower	As the description describes.	There is no specifically easy way, other than getting generally low, then eating foods that take away health until only one small line remains in the inventory menu. IMPORTANT NOTE: in multiplayer, there is a bug where only the host can get it.
Natural Selection	0.5%	Kill every monster in the game	As the description describes.	There are no easy ways to get this, other than just playing the game. Most monsters are easy to kill late game. For a full list of monsters: Note: Izdushka does not count as a monster for this achievement, and dwarves are unknown
Battle Scars	0.5%	Sustain 100k damage	As the description describes.	The easiest way is likely just spending a couple hours taking damage, such as by jumping from the top of the stairs into your bunker.
Survival instinct	0.4%	Survive 10 Shinings on HARDCORE	As the description describes.	Staying in the bunker with a bread farming setup works well, albeit being boring. 10 Shinings on hardcore takes 3 hours and 20 minutes
Collectioner	0.2%	Find 10 different Artifacts	As the description describes.	As you look for artifacts, you will find a random one. There are 12 in total. It is yet to be determined if certain anomalies have different artifacts. There is no easiest way.
Alcoholism	0.1%	Drink 100 Vodka	As the description describes.	This can be save scummed, by filling your inventory with vodka, drinking it all, leaving and repeating. Alternately, vodka can be purchased from the barman.
Butcher of Zaslavie	0,3%	Kill 100 enemies with a melee weapon	Kill 100 enemies with any melee weapon. It counts between saves, weapons, and lives.	Use melee as much as possible, and try to kill every enemy you come across. Eventually you will get it.
Ghost of the Zone	0.1%	Survive 50 days on HARDCORE	As the description describes.	Staying in the bunker with a bread farming setup works well, albeit being boring. 50 Shinings on hardcore takes 16 hours and 40 minutes.
You've got cancer	0.1%	Smoke 100 cigs	Smoke 100 cigarettes.	This can be save scummed, by filling your inventory with cigarettes, consuming it all, leaving and repeating. Alternately, cigarettes can be purchased from the barman.
Comrade Capitalist	0.0%	Earn 1 million rubles	As the description describes.	This can be save scummed, by filling your inventory with 1x1 artifacts, selling them all, leaving and repeating. Alternately, you can bread farm, or hunt for sell able items in the expedition.
Hero of Zaslavie	0.0%	Survive 100 Shinings on HARDCORE	As the description describes.	Staying in the bunker with a bread farming setup works well, albeit being boring. 100 Shinings on hardcore takes 33 hours and 20 minutes.

Summary

Many of the achievements are easier than their percentages suggest them to be, likely due to many players playing during free periods, and not having time to get the achievements.